One of the Strongest
by Aseru
Summary: My take on what happened after Sarah left the twin. This should be good. Review if you please. Rating for Booze.
1. Blood

**Chapter one**

It wasn't really something I wanted to do. But being what I was now was confusing.

Looking at light, anything was painful. The noises of life buzzed all around me. And there was only one person I knew who would help me.

So, not even twenty-four hours after it was done, I was walking down the street, heading fro SingleEarth. Caryn would help, though I can't imagine why. She helped everyone.

I walk into the building, pulling the hat further down on my face. This was one place I didn't want to see my mother. I walk down the sterile hall and into the little office that she worked in. It was her lunchtime; so she sat behind her desk.

As I close the door I could hear her stand up. I turn around slowly and she looks at me carefully. As she recognizes me her eyes get larger and she falls back into the chair. "Oh my god, Sarah?"

"Don't rub it in," I say still not liking the way my new fangs rubbed against my lips as I spoke. Caryn swallows hard and looks at her desk. I take off the hat and sit in the chair in front of her desk.

"You're just the last person…" She trails off, "How did this happen?" I shake my head.

"That's not important." She nods slowly. "Don't worry about keeping this from Dominique, I have a feeling Adianna already told her. You don't have to tell her I was here though." She looks at me blankly.

"Why?" I was confused, needless to say but the lack of emotions in her voice.

"Why what?" She swallows again.

"Why, did you let this happen." Truth? Sure, less to explain later.

"I was gonna die," I say bluntly and quietly. She takes a deeper breath than necessary and puts her head on her hands. "Listen, Caryn, I need a favor." She nods.

"Ok," She looks at me. "Treason once, I can do it again." I smile wearily.

"You can say I threatened you." She laughs a little and I smile for a second before forcing my face to harden. "I need to get out of here for a while and I need somewhere to go." She nods like she was thinking.

"Where do you wanna go?" I sigh and shake my head. I had been trying not to think about this all night.

"How far away can you get me?" She looks up at me and smirks.

"How's New York?" I look at her a little confused.

"Why New York?" She shakes her head and puts her arms back on her chair.

"I have a… friend, up there that I could probably talk into letting you stay there." I nod.

"That would work."

"Best part, in New Mayhem, even your mom would be crazy to threaten one of their own there." I smile.

"Sounds like the place for me." She nods and picks up the phone. She dials a lengthy number twice before she was happy with the numbers and puts the reciever to her ear. It rings for a long time and she looks at her watch for a second. She sighs and shakes her head. She mumbles after the phone had died and dials it again.

"Stinking vampires," She looks at me after saying it and smile apologetically, "She's asleep." I laugh a little. "And I thought I learned not to wake her up?" She chuckles and leans back in her chair. After a minute someone answers.

"What, Damnit!" Caryn laughs.

"You'd think you _were_ nocturnal."

"Smoke. What do you want, need, or have to discuss and why did it have to be at noon! I'm getting death glares through the _floor_!" Caryn laughs and the other voice lowers so I couldn't hear it.

"I need a favor… no it has nothing to do with killing someone," Caryn rolls her eyes. I shake my head and Caryn bites her lip as she looks at me. "No, I need you to help me… help someone else." She looks at me a little pained.

"Well," She says on the other line.

"Sarah…" Caryn shakes her head, "I don't wanna! … Because then you'll say no."

"Caryn!"

"Vida," she mumbles.

"What!"

"See!"

"You want me to take in the daughter of a woman who tried to kill me! And him!" She nods.

"Think about what I'm asking here."

"…"

"Shade?"

"…Why would I take in a witch!"

"She's not just a witch anymore." I lower my eyes and look at the red black and blue floor. "Shade, are you there."

"You mean she's a vampire! Isn't that like, _illegal_?"

"Why do you think she needs to get out of here?"

"Wait. So you want me to take in a witch that's now a Vampire that will be hunted by all of Vida? Do I _look blond_!" Cary shakes her head and I stand up and take the reciever out of her hand.

"Stop yelling," I say into the reciever, "The fact that I can hear you talk about me is _very_ discouraging and not to mention defiling in every way." I look at Caryn who was smiling brightly. "And just for the record, I might not have been the best Vida, but I could kick all of my family's ass, I don't need your help, I just need to get out of _here_." I hand the phone back to Cary and sit back down. She doesn't put it back to her ear for a second and looks at me. I was breathing rather hard too. I was hungry; I hadn't eaten since the first time.

"Are you ok," Caryn asks me as Jessica Shade continued to yell for Caryn on the phone. I look at her briefly and she quickly puts the reciever on her ear. "I'm here."

"_What_ the _fuck_!"

"Jessica," She says still looking at me, "I'll have to call you back."

"NO! Caryn, what the hell-" She hangs up and quickly walks to my side.

"When was the last time you fed?" I shake my head.

"Last night… around sunset." She looks at her watch and takes my elbow standing me up. She walks me out of the small office and I grab my hat. She drags me down the sterile white hall and into another wing. She walks me into a smaller white room and sits me on a table. She takes my arm and sticks a syringe in a dead vein. She pulls up on the lever and after a few seconds the syringe was still empty other than a little dribble of blood. She pulls it back out and throws it on a silver table.

She walks out of the door and walks back in a few minutes later with a nurse and a larger IV bag with an inlet on one side and an exit on the other. She sticks the syringe in my arm again, and hooks what was defiantly not a nurse to the other side. The girl looks at me and I shiver. "Caryn?" She looks at me. There was a look of determination in her eyes.

"_I'm_ not ready to let you die, even if _you are_," She says forcefully and I glare at her. The girl back up a little not looking much like she wanted to be in the room, or maybe just to whole building. I shake my head and stand up.

"I was wrong to come here." Caryn stops what she was doing and looks at me with mild surprise. I rip the syringe out of my arm and rush the girl. She jumps back. I look her in the eye. "And so were you." She shakes a little and quickly runs out of the room. Caryn looks after her down the hall and grumbles.

"Smoke," someone yells down the hall. I smirk. Caryn looks at me and glares weakly.

"_Don't_ move." She steps out and shuts the door. I listen to what she was saying on the other side of the door faintly. But sooner than not, my head was pounding and I had to put my hand on the wall to not fall over and pass out. I mumble to myself a little and slide down the wall. The door opens and I faintly remember hearing high heeled boots tap into the room. I whimper a little and could feel a hand on my back.

"Damn, Smoke," say that voice again, "I thought you were trying to keep people like her undead, not dying in their own starvation." Caryn laughs a little.

"She's the one starving herself," She says with a little malice, "But then again, it is against her nature to kill." My head was still pounding as they talked. I was only faintly aware of the hand on my back, smoothing my hair and gently moving in small circles.

"Well, we can't have that now can we." Says that voice yet again. "Do you know who made her?" Caryn was silent for a minute.

"I have an idea."

"And?"

"Christopher Ravena." She chuckles a little.

"What do you know? That lil' bastrd is back in the circuit?" She laughs a little and stands up. "I'll get him, that would be best. Stay with her. Don't let her hurt herself. And keep her conscience as best you can." Caryn walks across the room and bends down where the other one had been. She moves my hair out of my face and sighs.

"I doubt he'll be happy about this." She cringes away from me as my head pounds harder. I whimper a little and she sighs harder. "Hurry up Jessica." She pulls me to her and runs her hand over my hair. I could hear her heart in my ear inches form my mouth.

_Do you have a death wish!_ I yell in her mind and she looks down at me. I lift my head with much effort stand and move away form her as she stands. She looks at me a little confused. _Damn you!_ I force her out of the room with my mind and collapse on the dead. I look at the door holding it shut without much effort. But even with as much effort as I was putting out I fell unconscience after a minute or so.

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"Ok, this is stupid," were the first words I heard as I woke. I was in the same room. Only now I was lying completely on the bed. Someone was sitting on the bed next to me. And I could feel at least two others not far away, in the room defiantly. I was awake as I was gonna get but I just didn't want to open my eyes.

"What are you guys looking at her for," That was defiantly Caryn.

"Can I go back to sleep," I mumble. Someone snorts.

"Not right now!" I sigh. That was Jessica Shade. And from the smell of it, Christopher was sitting next to me. "You're weaker that he used to be."

"Hey," Christopher growls. Jessica laughs.

"You know it's true." If my eyes were open I was pretty sure I would have seen him roll his eyes. "And besides, then you'd miss your own scolding." I open one eye just to glare at her. She smiles, her green eyes shining. I close my eye again and move my arm behind me to sit up. Christopher puts his hand on my side and helps the process. I lean on his shoulder. "Ok, we can do the scolding later." I laugh a little and shake my head looking at her again. She does a little curtsy thing.

I was plainly avoiding looking at him and I could feel that he knew it. Caryn smiles at me. "Thanks for the little stunt," She says bluntly, "But let's not do it again." I shrug.

"Whatever." Jessica looks at Caryn and Caryn looks at her. They were plainly having a discussion in their minds. I look at the Christopher for a second and he smiles at me.

_Ok?_ I nod.

_I guess._ I look back at Caryn and Jessica. Suddenly, Caryn gets an insulted look on her face and punches Jessica flatly on the arm. Jessica eggs her on and acts like she was hurt. We both shake our heads. She looks at us and glares.

"What are you two looking at."

"We're not sure," Christopher says bluntly. Jessica gapes at him and I shake my head still looking at her. Jessica looks at Caryn again and the witch shrugs. I steal a look at the clock and would have fallen over again if Christopher hadn't still had his arm around me hold me up.

"Is that clock right?" Caryn and Jessica stop their mental fight and Caryn looks at the clock then her watch and nods.

"Yep," she says happily like it was a rare thing. I look at Jessica and she bites her lip and looks at the ground. Then I look at Christopher and he smiles weakly. Caryn looks at one of us to the next. "What am I missing."

"Oh, just the fact that sunset was _almost an hour ago_," Jessica states her voice growing into a yell. She then glares at Caryn. Caryn scratches her neck and laughs weakly. Jessica rolls her eyes and looks at me. "Stay here," She says to me and I look at her, "I'll be back." And with that she vanishes. I look at Christopher and he looks away first this time.

The added factors of having to feed me again and daily exhaustion where making everything hard on him right now, hence all the weak smiles. "You can go," I say to him and he looks at me with a set face, "I'll see you again sometime." He nods reluctantly and kisses my forehead before disappearing.

Caryn looks out at the hall and then at me. "Sarah?" I don't look at her just lean back on the sterile bed. "I need to get back to work… Will you be ok?" I nod mutely. She sighs and leaves the door a few seconds later.

What the hell was going on with me lately? I sigh and run my hands through my hair. It felt different. Everything felt, looked, tasted, smelt different. I mentally flip the lights off and close my eyes. I liked the dark better. It was warmer.

I lay there for a few minutes, it could have been an hour as far as I knew, but I lied there until a silent movement in the darkness alerted me of another presence. "So, you turned the lights off," Jessica, "Classy." She flips them on but my eyes were still closed so I didn't notice much. "Wake up princess." I scoff.

"I am awake. Like I could sleep." She laughs a little at my monotone voice.

"I don't need to know anything else to know why you're gonna end up dead! Too human." I open my eyes slowly and glare at her. "And don't. You it's know it's true." There was something different about Jessica Smoke. Hundreds of hunters said it, but now looking at her I could see it too. She was so unattached to her human roots. She looked like she had been a vampire from the beginning of time, and some even said she had been.

"So what do you want to do about it, oh great killer?" She smirks and I humph a little.

"What do I want to do about it?" She laughs, "That question always gets me in over my head!" She looks at me softly. "Aubrey's gonna kill me for this." She jumps off the counter where she had been standing and walks over to me. "You need a place to stay, right?" I nod. "And you need to keep the bit of life you still have, right?" I nod again. "I'll help you with both… but you have to do something for me?"

"What," I ask with a little hesitation. She smirks sadly.

"You have to give up your humanity." I just look at her blankly. "That's the only way you'll ever be able to last on your own." I was still looking at her.

"And how does one go about, 'losing one's humanity'?" She smirks.

"You listen to me." I involuntarily shuddered at the words, but in the end I still took the hand she had extended to me.

"Ok."


	2. Name

Chapter two 

The rather large house in New Mayhem, owned by one Aubrey, was quite a show. There was nothing simple about it, from the outside in, from the roof down. There was a lack of color and you could tell that the house was rushly inhabited. Like no one had lived inside for decades and then suddenly everyone did.

The owner reflected the house's complexity. Aubrey was a bold hard looking person and though once Jessica had a few words with him he left to go have a snack. Jessica gave me some cracker realizing how far my distant for feeding went. She admitted to finding it a little funny but didn't elaborate to me happiness. After I had munched on the crackers and she had gone over what not to do to tick Aubrey off and when, she started on the tour.

This lower level of the old house had near five rooms and three bathrooms. There was a kitchen dining room, that was used for circuit parties, a 'family room', though there was little family Aubrey admitted to wanting to spend time with other than Jessica, and a drawling room.

The second floor was basically two wings. The turned off wing was full of about eight rooms and several bathrooms. The other wing was lined with two rooms, one of which Jessica and Aubrey alternated sharing and fighting in, and the other that I would be using. There were also two larger rooms that used to be used for workrooms when the house was still new. One of the workrooms was Aubrey's Jessica stated that under any circumstance was she or I to go in there, "Either of us could be maimed." The other was her's. The walls were lined with bookshelves. There as a larger desk in the back corner. On one end of the paper-lined wood was a small laptop. Next to it was a larger Dell computer.

The other sides of the room, though, seemed completely empty and void in their bookshelf-lined way. As though there was on sigh in this side of the empty shelves had no inclination of what was just on the other side of the room from it.

At that point, though, Jessica left me to wonder. While I had no doubt she went to feed again. Now I lay on the large black four-post bed in the large maroon room, feeling largely empty and alone, much like the way that half a room must feel.

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It had to be three hours later that I first felt a presence downstairs. I didn't want to move to go see who it was, though I didn't have to, as the presence came to me. In minutes, the doorway to the room was filled, though I didn't have to look to know who it was. The energy was wholly foreign to me.

"You are a pathetic excuse for a vampire." I don't move.

"Excuse me for not protesting."

"What in is Vida? The fact that you know your mother would kill you on site?"

"No."

"Your… sister?"

"No."

"Aunt, brother, cousin, uncle?"

"No."

"Yourself?" I lift my head and look at him. He smirks as seeing the hunger in my eyes, or maybe it was the disconcert in my face period. "You are something." I shake my head and look back at the large window I had the blinds moved from.

"No, there you _are_ wrong… I'm _nothing_." As I look back at him, I was almost surprised to see the surprise on his face. "I'm not worth this," I look at my hands and away from him lying my head back down on the covers. He doesn't say anything for a few minutes.

"You know," He almost sounded alive to me, "We really need to do something about your name." I look at him barely lifting up my head.

"Three minutes ago you were acting like _YOU_ would kill me! Now you want to fix my name?" He looks at me blankly, "Sorry for thinking you were a vampire." I lay back down and he laughs a little.

"No little witch," He walks into the room, "Sorry for thinking you were any different from any other fledgling I had ever met before." I look at him as he sits down on the end of the bed. "And take it as nothing other than the fact that I don't want it highly known that I have a witch under my roof. Not to mention keeping that dear mother of yours away from me. Nothing meant by it but Dominique is quite… annoying." I nod.

"No explanation needed," I say lowering my head. "And you weren't raised by her witch-ful gaze." I blink twice, "And I was, and still turned out like you." He shakes his head still looking at me.

"So about that name?" I look at him and shake my head.

"I don't care, I never much liked 'Sarah' anyway." He smirks.

"Honestly I think Sarah suits you perfect. Just the spelling of it… is too traditional, too… innocent. I think you just need to take the name and spell in differently, and that way you don't have to learn to answer to a new name either." I look at him a little confused. "Just a thought."

"I like it," I look at my door and Jessica smiles at me thoughtfully. "Well?" I look from her to Aubrey and back.

"Ok… whatever." She sighs and walks over to the bed flopping down next to me.

"It can't be a whatever thing. This is your name, that you're going to spend forever with… it needs a yes or no." I look from her to him again and he shrugs. I look at Jessica again. She had a pleading look on her face, though I didn't know why. I shrug and drop my head into the comforter.

"Fine," I mumble. Jessica raises an eyebrow when I glance at her. "Ok I'll do it, but how the hell are you gonna spell that?" I look at Aubrey and he closes his eyes thinking.

"C-e-r-a." He opens his eyes and Jessica smiles.

"I've been rubbing off on you babe." Aubrey closes his eyes again and shakes his head once before disappearing. Though I could tell he was still in the house.

"But what about my last name?" Jessica goes into thinking mode and after a minute looks up at me.

"Why not… what's Kristopher's last name again?" I look at her a little confused.

"I don't wanna use his last name."

"Why?" I look at her like she was blond.

"It's just weird."

"So… he's a hunk. Not to mention he was the one that made you." I shake my head.

"Really both of them helped."

"But he's the one the fed you?" I look at her out of the corner of my eye and then nod.

"Yeah."

"So…?" I shake my head.

"No. I won't." Jessica sighs, conceding defeat.

"Alright… Well then something plain… like, Green."

"No! Not Green!" Jessica sighs again.

"Fine… Blue?" I laugh a little and she shakes her head. "Well then you think of something!" I look at her and smirk.

"Cera Black." Jessica looks at me with utter astonishment.

"Did you want me to name the whole flippin' rainbow!" I laugh. She shrugs and stands up. I won't mention that black is not on the color wheel. She looks around the room thinking for a second before smirking. "I like it," She says simply and walks out of the room. I laugh again.

I roll over onto my back and look at the ceiling. There was something new about looking at it now, different that twenty minutes ago when I looked at it. I shake my head and roll over onto my side. I tuck my hand under my head and close my eyes.

Something breaks in the kitchen; I don't pay attention to it.

Sleep comes hard and heavy.

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The next evening when I woke up the sun was barely setting. Jessica and Aubrey were both still out. I crept down the stairs and into the kitchen. I open the cabinet and smiled at the sight of the only thing I knew would be in this house. Wine, booze, and anything else that would be illegal to a twenty-year-old.

I grab down a bottle of the cheep liquor and willed myself to the slums.

_No vampire can live at all if they are kept away from a food source for more than ninety-six hours, less if they're younger._ My mother's words were like acid in my nearly empty veins now.

I walk down the dark alley and over to where a plump man sat with his ass planted on a broken down box. I could hear his heart beat hard and slow as he slept. I kick him with the heel of my boot and he looks up at me groggily after a second. I twist the cap off of the bottle and take a swig. He looks at the bottle.

_To a vampire, alcohol is nearly poisonous if consumed in the blood stream._ Thank you Dominique.

I crouch down next him and hand him the bottle. As his chubby fingers reach for it I surveyed how his shirt was on his neck. Loose. I let the bottle travel into his hand but as he pulled it back to his mouth I grabbed it again and lunged forward, a few milliseconds later, sinking my fangs sloppily in to his chubby neck. Fighting not to gag, I take all I thought necessary. He was as good as dead though with how hungry I was.

I return to the house and lean against the counter, taking a bigger swig of the alcohol. Jessica walks in to the kitchen and stops before saying whatever she was going to say. I was going to say, in the scarce light, she almost made the purple bunny slippers and the purple robe thing work. She looks at me for a minute before I think she realized what she was looking at.

I look at her letting my head fall to my shoulder. "Are you happy now?" She looks at me for a few seconds before a slow smile creeps over her face.

"At least tell me you killed… it," She says after recovering and walks over to the freezer getting out a popsickle. I look at her back and smirk.

"If not, it'll be dead in a few hours." She looks at me and shakes her head.

"That's what you get for not eating." She opens the popsickle and bites off the top. "A hoard of corpses," Then she walks out of the room without a care.

"But I don't want even a cadaver."

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It wasn't another three nights later that even the sparse killing became easier. After the first time, Jessica was always close by when I went out. She liked the liquor method, as she called it. But it was on the third night that she made me go out without the liquor and tore me away from the slums. The blood there was all dingy and over used.

So, she took me to a club just out side of New Mayhem borders. The people were beautiful, sweaty and there were so many of them. It made my fangs grow just looking down on them all from the balcony.

"You're making this way to easy," Jessica yells at me as I stop on the incline. I smirk at her and run to catch back up with her. "You know this should be that boyfriend of your's doing this."

"What?" She smirks.

"That's out here, teaching you to do what nature tells us to do," She turns her body completely to face me, "Feed." She walks down faster and into the hoard of lively beings. I don't bother mentioning that Christopher was never my boyfriend.

I quickly loose Jessica in the crowd, or maybe that was her point. I walk a little further until a rather large body crashes into my side. I look over at him as he starts to apologize about the brush but he stops as he looks me in the eyes. Maybe it was the sweat on his body or the fact the he was shirtless or maybe my building hunger combined with the other two, but something was making my mind scream to take him now, bite him and drink him dry right that second.

But I fight the urge down. "It's ok," I say quickly as he starts to talk. I look at him friends, most were oblivious to us now. "Do you wanna dance?" He smiles shortly and nods.

"Sure," he says in a drug out way. I had to fight to suppress a laugh. I let him lead me to where the majority of people were dancing and we… well, dance. All dancing anymore seemed to be made up of grinding, rubbing, and utterly touching in sensitive spots and every touch seemed to make the senses in my head go off.

After about twenty minutes I start to move him toward the back of the club, where there were less people and the majority were strung out on something. After another ten minutes he seemed to notice where we were going and sped up the process so we were off the floor in another five after that. I was leaning against the wall his head buried in my neck. If I were still human I would have been worried about having a hickey. I let him go on like that for a little while before pulling his face to mine and egging on the make-out.

Somewhere in the kisses, my thought seemed to make this person into a more known person in my mind. Even in my mind I still couldn't admit what was true; I hadn't gone a day, maybe even an hour without thinking about Christopher. My mind made this overly built and under-cared for boy into the vampire that created me, that only seemed to make me like kissing him more.

_Never kill in public_, Jessica's mind cut into my own and I had to wonder if she could see my fantasy. I slowly move the kisses from the boy's throat; Jessica had destroyed my fantasy. I kiss the skin on his neck tenderly and slightly aware of how easily humans bruised. I slowly sink my fangs in to his throat, making sure he didn't feel the pain. He moaned as I began to drink slowly. _And makes sure you erase all of this, he can't even remember your face._ I made a mental note of it and continued to feed.

After another hour, and three other boys. I was full. Jessica was feeding happily as I walked into one of the back rooms. She stands and looks me like she was doing something everyone did. "What," She says innocently, "And Mr. Washboard abbs was just a fling." I shake my head at her and smile as she pulls the double doors shut behind her. I read over the little gold plate; executive.

"My, my, we like the rich ones don't we?" She smiles.

"What can I say? I like expensive things." She pulls a wad of bills from her but pocket and rolls it up sticking it in the front of her shirt, no doubt lodging it in between her breasts.

"You are sick." I say as we start for the exit. She smiles and nods.

"I know." We walk down the street a little ways and then smirking we both port to the house.

As I materialize in the living room, Aubrey gives me a look. I lift an eyebrow and Jessica materializes next to me. She gets the same look. "What," It was her that got up the gull to ask.

"Circuit, here, next weekend." Jessica growls and straddles in his lap.

"Why," She grumbles lying her head on his shoulder. I shake my head at her.

"They thought it would be a good idea."

"I like looking for my food not having it walk into my house." Aubrey kisses her temple and looks at me.

"You ok with this?" I shrug.

"I've been at a bash before," I say walking toward the stair, "Though it was only because Nikolas refused to let me leave without inflicting damage." Jessica laughs a little.

"Both of those brothers love you don't they?"

"Oh yeah," I yell back down and shut the door to my room.


	3. Room

**Chapter three**

There was nothing more, I realized, that Jessica hated than bashes in her own house. She was even begging, just to have it in any other place than here. And the begging hardly ever stopped. Aubrey started staying away whenever she wasn't asleep to get away from it.

So then, when he wasn't here, she would lock herself in her study and write, or read, or sometimes she even slept in there. So I found myself in there more and more. No matter where I was in the room, behind her desk reading a manuscript she had given me or at one of the three tables in the room. My eyes were drawn to that empty void one the other side of the room. The tables were even drawn away from it.

"Jessica?" She looks up from her laptop screen though my eyes don't move from, the empty floor. She follows my eyes and looks at the spot. She looks from me to it a few times and then chuckles lowly.

"Is it really bothering that much?" I nod slowly, my fingers still wedged between the pages and on the pen in my hand. She was having me correct a newer story, I liked it enough to agree. She looks at the empty area again and shrugs leaning back in her chair stretching slowly. "You can do something with it… if you can think of anything." I'd only though of a million things to put there. All ranging from a puppet theater to a dining room table, anything to take up the space.

"Really?" She looks at me again. She smirks.

"How long has this been bothering you?" I snort slightly.

"Since I first walked in here!" She laughs and nods.

"It's all your's. Whatever you wanna do with it. As long as it doesn't interfere with what I do over here."

The next morning around nine, I left the house while Jessica and Aubrey were still out. I knew of a small art store on the other side of town. There was a woman that worked there, she was a nice old lady, I had known her slightly while I was alive, though only once had I ever talked to her. The shop was a good one for what I was looking for. I had snagged Aubrey's car and wallet so I was good, I doubted he would mind much.

I walk into the store about an hour after it had opened. The woman gave me a smile as I walked in. I bow my head slightly to her and then proceed to look for what I had come for. Toward the back of the store was what I was after. There were easels of all sizes lined up against the wall. The only problem was I didn't know what I was looking for.

"Can I help you," I nearly jumped out of my skin at the old woman's words, right behind me. She could pass for a vampire any day. I smile at her and nod.

"I… have no idea what I'm looking for." She nods and looks at me then the wall. She points to a dark wood easel on the upper part of the wall and then walks down the isle and gets several things. Paint, a few markers, watercolors and a ticket for canvases. I smile as she hands me the bag she had collected all the things in. "I take it you get a lot of hopeless cases." She nods slowly and motions for me to pick up the easel. I do and follow her to the counter.

"Not usually this early though," I nearly laughed at her thought out words. She looks at me and it felt like she was looking through me. "But you're different," She grabs my hands, "You have an artists hands," She rubs her thumb over my fleshly palm and smiles. She then releases me and smiles. "At least that's what my mother would have said… if she was still alive." I nod.

"My mother would call me a fool if she could see me right now," I mumble. I had been forcing myself not to think about Dominique, but she used to be such a part of my life, it was hard. The old woman was looking at me carefully. I hand her Aubrey's credit card and smile slightly. She nods and takes it. After she had handed it back to me with a receipt she smiles and slips a sketchbook in the bag and a thick pencil. I look at her a little confused.

"And usually when I get hopeless cases this early in the morning, I don't see so many troubles in their eyes." I smile at her as real as I could and bow my head slightly. I take the bags, easels, and five canvases to the Jeep and get in the driver's seat.

It was a long way home and I wanted to drive every mile.

That day, I painted my first easel. A dark painting with a vampire Dominique, licking her bloodied Vida knife while her tongue burned. Just looking at it made me repulsed. I covered it with a drape and went to bed. I slept until three.

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"What the hell! Cera! Get up you lazy bag!" I hit her hip weakly and drop my arm back on the bed.

"I'm not a lazy bag." Jessica scoffs.

"And that's what you're still asleep. I see… I'm gonna go out. You wanna come?" I look up at her in the dim light and cringe at it.

"Where?" She smiles.

"I've been needing to take you to Las Noches." She grabs my arm and drags me out of bed, literally. I land on my rump and look up at her. "Get dressed in something sleazy and get down stares on the double." And just like that she's gone.

"Something sleazy?" I stand up roughly and walk over to the wardrobe. I flip through the pants and throw out a knee length skirt that fit me like glue. Then a red tube top with detached sleeves and a dog collar from my dresser and pouf downstairs. Jessica looks at me and smirk. "Sleazy enough?" She nods.

"Perfect. Now get your boots and let's go." I pull on my combat boots and trench coat and we walk out of the house.

"Why are we walking." She smiles and drapes her arm around my neck.

"Because I need to go over a few things. One, if snookums is in here, treat him like poop, remember we're still mad at him about the bash." I nod. I really didn't care about the bash but I wasn't going to ruin Jessica's fantasy. "Two, If Risika, girl with tiger stripes, is in here, we like her, because snookums hates her."

"Will you stop calling him snookums?" She shakes her head.

"And three, if I tell you to get out or kick some ass, do it. Things can go down in here pretty quick." I nod and we enter the heart of New Mayhem. She leads me to the small club in the center of town and we walk in. The lights made me want to fall over or throw up bad. I fight down both urges and Jessica smiles at me, "Not many people can do that." She leads me over to where the bar was and walks up behind 'snookums'. I almost laughed as she hugged him then hits him over the head. "I'm still mad at you." Aubrey throws up his hands and I walk over to them. I sit down on his other side and he looks at me.

"Having fun yet?" I smirk.

I reach over the bar and grab a random bottle. I look back at him after I take a drink. "Super." He laughs a little and Jessica shakes her head.

"Well if it isn't the merry band of fools." I look to Jessica's other side and smirk. There was the girl with the orange and tiger striped black hair. It was pined behind her head, but you could see them easy form any direction. She hugs Aubrey and then blows the smoke from her cigarette in his face. "How you doing, fluffy?" She doesn't wait for him to answer before she looks at me. "And what do we have here?" I look at Jessica and she smiles. I look at the other girl.

"Cera Black." She shakes my hand and takes the cigarette out of her mouth.

"Risika. You got balls kid." She takes another drag and lets it hang off her lips. I look at it and then reach up and take it from her before taking a drag and offering it back to her.

"That's what the tell me." Aubrey smiles and Jessica fights off a snort. Risika looks at her.

"What?" Jessica shakes her head and looks at me.

"You are learning way to fast." I nod with a smile and take another drink from the bottle. I tip it toward her and down the rest, and mind you there was quite a bit left in the bottle. Risika take the bottle from me and throws it over her shoulder before taking the cigarette back. She smirks as it shatters.

"I think I could like you." I smirk.

"Anyone could, be very few do." I smile wider and look around the room. Risika sits down on my other side and grabs two bottles out from under the bar much like I had. She hands one to me. I take a drink. "Vodka," I say happily and gulp nearly half down. Aubrey tilts the bottle back down.

"Slow down killer." I shake my head.

"This stuff is the shit."

"Have you been raiding my cabinet again." I look at him and smile. Aubrey looks at Jessica. "Three seconds?" She shrugs.

"What?"

"Please take her hunting or something. She's gonna be on the down for an hour at this rate." I down half of what was left in the bottle and look at Risika.

"You going out?" She looks at me and smirks. Jessica and Aubrey look at me.

"Are you crazy," Jessica says through her teeth. I smile at her. I nod. Risika was now confused.

"What's the big deal? It's just a kill or two." Aubrey looks at me with a confused look.

"Have to start sometime, right?" They exchange looks.

"No, not really," Jessica says. I shake my head as Risika stands up. I follow her lead and we both walk out of the bar.

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Later that night I stumble into the house and into Jessica's study. She was standing in front of the painting that I had done today. "You're changing to fast." I nod.

"I know." She looks at me and shakes her head.

"You can't keep doing this. At the rate you're going, you'll destroy all of what you were when you were alive." I shake my head.

"Here, I'll always be Cera Black. Just like to my mother, I'll always be a traitor." She shrugs her shoulders toward the painting.

"So is that what this is? You making your mother what she sees you as?" I look at the painting. Tilt my head.

"No," I look at her and smirk, "This what my mother is." I fling the sheet back over the painting and walk to the door.

"Did you?" I stop and look back at her.

"What?" She was still looking at the covered painting.

"Kill?" I look at the ground. And then back at her.

"Almost." I turn and walk back out of the room. I was making every Vida ancestor do back flips in their graves.

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The next day I lay in bed. No where near asleep. Just lying there, watching the sun move under the drapes. By the time I gave up with lying there, it was nearly five in the evening.

I walk down the hall and into Jessica's study. I walk over to one of the empty canvases and pick it up. I take the one of Dominique of the easel and put to clean one up. I put Dominique's picture between two bookshelves so it would stand up. I then walk over to the clean one and sit down in front of it.

It wasn't long before I had a painting in my mind. I paint the whole back a dark burgundy that lightened and fades toward the opposite corners and then walked down to the kitchen while that was drying. I drink down a glass of OJ and look out the newly opened window. It was a depressing day.

Since I had gotten up, it had started to rain. You could hear it pounding on the roof. The soothing sound did nothing to calm my nerves. I don't know why I was so wired. Maybe it was the amount of blood in my system… or maybe it was the lack of the remorse of the life that I nearly killed. But either way, I was quite hyper.

After about twenty minutes I walk back up to the study and sit down in front of the painting while two of the wet spots slowly dried. So far it was just how I imagined it. So I slowly started. And just as slowly, two bodies were born on the canvas. The pale bodies were standing back to back, but you could only see their sides, from the waist up. On the right profile I sculpt a white shirt clinging to his muscular form, detail the short black hair on his head, closed eyes and mold his hands into his pockets. On the opposite profile I sculpt a loose black shirt. Between their two bodies, the second's longer black hair falls, some traveling over the other's shoulders. I detail his wide-open black eyes that were looking up as if they were looking for answers. His hands were crossed over his chest in a defiant way.

After I was finished with the painting I moved the stool I had sat on to work and sat away from it at one of the tables, actually on the table. My elbows propped on my knees and my hair falling around my face. I look at the painting. Though I guess I hadn't wanted it too, this painting looked so much like the picture Nikolas had used to torment me so long ago… no that was only a few weeks ago. It felt like so much longer.

This one was more detailed though. The image spoke a whole story I had seen through Kristopher's eyes. The way Nikolas never lost sight of what they were. And how he had tried so hard to ignore, close his eyes to the pain his bloodlust caused. I knew that feeling now. The way Nikolas' hair fell over his brother's shoulders was just like the way he was inside his head, even though the feeling went the other way too. It could also be seen as his brother's protection.

After looking over the picture for so long, I look at the window. There was no light under the drapes. I look at the door and where Jessica was standing. "How long have you been there?" She smirks.

"Long enough to see the way art affects it's creator," She says and leans off the wall, not uncrossing her arms. "Can I see it?" I shrug and look back at the picture. She walks over slowly and turns standing next to me. I could almost hear the voluntary breathing she always did stop.

"Well," was all she said and sat down in the chair next to my knee.

"It's my vampire part." She looks away from the painting as I speak. "I helps me… with this stuff. I can't even make a clay figure on my own! I can make a mutilated dog though!" She laughs a little and looks back at it. She stands up after another minute and walks over to it. She pulls the stool back and looks at it closer.

"It's good… No, I mean, really good. There's so much detail." I nod and look at the floor. She turns on the stool to look at me. "You miss them don't you?" I nod slightly. She smirks and walks back over to me sitting next to me on the table. She looks at the painting and smirks. "You know you can always go see them." I nod and look at it too. Christopher, and Nikolas for that matter, were such a part of my life for a time there and now I would be ashamed to look them in the face.

"I know… just not yet, not now." She nods and we just sit there for a while longer.

Later we both left New Mayhem and went to hunt. That night, I came close to killing again, but this time there was no momentary shock of knowing that this person was going to die. I don't know why, it just never came. When we got back I moved the picture, after covering it, and placed it on the floor in front of one of the bookcases. That part of my life was for later.

Then I went to sleep. I slept all day and then until eleven.


	4. Art

Chapter Four 

Another two days and the sickening feeling of killing was gone. Jessica was a little more that ecstatic. So she insisted that we go to Las Noches. And who am I to fight with a place that gives away free alcohol.

It was only after we got there that I saw a small flaw in this. Behind the bar was a shorter female with black hair, eyes and chocolate skin. She and Aubrey were deep in a fight. Jessica stops in the door and her face goes blank.

"Who is that," I ask and she looks back at me for a second before looking at the fight.

"Fala," She says, complete and utter hate dripping from the girl's name. Jessica steps once and then recomposes herself before walking straight to the bar. I lean next to the door and cross my arms. The fact that there were no other vampires in the room was not encouraging. I could feel her energy mingle with Aubrey's and could see the girl called Fala, fly against the bar twice before she stayed there. Jessica jumps over the bar after she had stopped fighting and secured her hand around Fala's neck. Only then did I gauge the situation to be as contained as it was going to be with all three in the room. I sit down next to Aubrey who was pretty much void to the fight now as the sound of a windpipe snapping echoed around us.

I get out a bottle of something and take a drink. The taste wasn't one I was familiar with but good none the less. I drink through the bottle before Fala was given enough of a break to leave the area. Jessica leans on the other side of the bar and huffs. She looks at Aubrey.

"What the hell was she doing here?" He takes a drink of his glass and shakes his head.

"She was here when I got here." Jessica shakes her head.

"You think she'd learn." Aubrey nods in agreement and continues to drink. I look at Jessica and nod to the empty bottle. She smirks and pulls another one out from the supply.

"I just wish she was dead." Aubrey looks at her over his glass and shakes his head downing the rest of it.

"She is dead, Jessica." Jessica rolls her eyes and looks at me as I take a drink of the bottle she had handed me. I shrug and lay my head down on the bar. She leans on it and looks at Aubrey.

"What are you doing tonight?" He shakes his head.

"Nothing out of the ordinary. Why?" She shakes her head.

"When's that stupid bash?" He smirks.

"You still have tonight and tomorrow night to come up with a way to kill me doll."

"Don't call me doll." He nods and takes another drink.

"Isn't Nikolas in your circuit," I wasn't looking at either of them, but I knew they were now looking at me. Jessica looks at Aubrey and he looks at her.

"Well, yeah," She looks at me again, "You ok with that?" I nod and stand up.

"Thanks for the drinks, but I think I'm gonna go home." She nods and watches me until I had disappeared from Las Noches.

But to me the house in New Mayhem would never be home. I never had a home really. So I walk down the street of the town that I had lived in with Adianna and Dominique.

I walk passed the house I had lived in. The shades were drawn and the lights were out. They still lived there. There were no cars in the driveway or in the garage. I walk into the living room and sit down on the recliner. I walk into the kitchen after looking out the dark window was boring. I open the fridge and smirk, pulling out the carton of milk. I then get the cookies out of the cabinet and walk back into the living room. I sit down in front of the coffee table and eat the remaining cookies. I drink down the carton of milk so there was enough to make Dominique mad and put it back in the fridge. I leave the empty cookie tray on the coffee table.

I then walk up the stairs and stop in front of where I knew my bedroom door had been. But now there was nothing. Only a continuation of the wall that went down the hall. There was a small family picture on the wall. I take it off and look at it for a second. Then I move myself in the room and look around the untouched surfaces. They hadn't moved a thing. It wasn't like I died, it was like I never existed. I walk over to my bed slowly and flop down on it. I look up at the ceiling and smirk. They were just trying to act like I never existed.

I sit up after a minute and walk over to my small work desk. I move the papers and look at the scribbled word on it. They were written in Latin. I look around the room again and walk over to where all my clothes and jewelry were. I pick up the ball chain that had all my rings strung on it. I slip it into one of the numerous pockets and then my necklaces. I grab the jewelry box and look around the room again. It was pointless to take anything else. They would know I had been here as it was.

I move myself back to the house in New Mayhem and set the box up with all the rings and necklaces in it, then slip it under the bed. Then I leave the house to go hunt.

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It was another sleepless day for me that the next day. I was sitting in the study, around two, the painting of Nikolas and Christopher on the easel. They were haunting me now.

I replace the painting at the base of the bookcase and put up one of the clean ones. There was already a picture in my mind. I paint the back round a deep midnight blue and watch it as it dries this time. It was nearly thirty minutes later but when it was done I had the complete picture in my mind.

I paint the figure of a young woman. She was facing the looker, her head down. I mentally map out the hair and paint it with the map still in my mind. It travels over her pale shoulders and down her back. I paint a red top on her and detail her face. Blood red lips parted slightly and coal black eyes that with her face tilted down, she looked at you. Straight ahead. Then I detail the black and white skirt she was wearing. Her right hand had it clutched up on her hip, thus causing her elbow to tuck behind her back a little. Her right hand was resting sprawled against her thigh.

I do the same thing to this one as the last, moving the stool and sitting on the table to look at her. The 'her' was undoubtedly Nissa. She had that look in her undead eyes was the Nissa to the core. The red shirt was proof of her connection to Kaleo. The skirt was her connection to her brothers. But the deep blue, almost black back round was all her.

If these people were colors, to me, Nikolas would be black, Christopher would be white, and Nissa, would be midnight blue. Jessica would be her emerald green, and Aubrey would be burgundy that was always able to complement her. Risika would be a tiger orange, in a class all her own. Then there was my past. Caryn, would be mustard yellow. Mother would be a dark indigo, like the back round of her picture, and Adianna would be a lighter turquoise. And that with how I will always paint them.

I walk down stairs and into the kitchen after I was done. I get out a glass of OJ and sit down at the table. About twenty minutes later Jessica walks down the stairs. She had a smile on her face. She walks over to the cabinet and gets down a bottle of rum. She walks over next to me and smiles. "So when are you going to paint me Van Gogh?" I smirk and shake my head.

"When I can figure out a way too." She smiles again and quickly spikes my OJ before walking out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I watch her and then look back down at my OJ. "My orange juice," I mumble in a sad, slightly childish way.

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That night I left the house in New Mayhem and moved myself to the area where Nikolas lived. As I stopped at the end of the sidewalk to the door of the white house. I couldn't move. He was plainly at home I could feel him since I arrived in the area. Any vampire within a block would know where he was.

I slowly slip out of the void state and walk slowly up to the side window. The fact that I hadn't eaten tonight helped to hide my energy from them. And there was a 'them'. I look through the window being sure to stay out of sight.

They looked happy, but there was a forced 'look' to it. Nissa's smile kept slipping and Christopher would fall into a daze every now and then. Nikolas was either unaffected by what they were feeling or was hiding it well.

Nissa was sitting on one of the white leather chairs in the corner, her legs bent under her. Nikolas and Christopher were sitting on the couch on the other side of the room. Nikolas was sitting on the arm of the piece of furniture and Christopher had his right leg bent out on the couch next to him. His hands were behind his head and his eyes closed for most of the time I watched him.

"Does it matter that we're doing nothing, really," Nissa was asking in a playful way, the question was aimed at Nikolas. He looks at her from the glass of what looked like scotch and smiles.

"Well, I kind of makes me feel like a bum," he says back and Nissa shakes her head. Christopher opens one eye and looks at his brother. "I mean we should be doing something. Not just sitting here…" Christopher laughs at him this time.

"Nikolas, you are a bum. And who cares if we're doing anything or not, other than you? I for one am just fine sitting on my rump." Nikolas glares at him while Nissa was trying to suppress a bout of laughter. Christopher smiles back, there was a mix of a challenge and playful banter in the smiles edges.

I move away from the window and walk back to the sidewalk. It was going to be a long night, and a longer day still, before I would see Nikolas tomorrow. But I was going to make it just fine. It wasn't going to be to much longer until I could go back.

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Aubrey was in Las Noches when I walked in a few hours later. He looks at me once as I sit down and doesn't say a thing. I grab a bottle from the other side of the counter and take a drink.

"Long night," he asks. I nod but don't reply. "Do you know here Jessica is?" I shake my head. He looks at me for a longer period of time than I think he had since I came to New Mayhem. "You know," he says after a minute or so, "I feel sorry for the poor fool who changed you."

"Why's that?"

"'Cause he obviously isn't here right now." I smirk. He looks at me again before taking a drink from his glass. "What's up really?" I shake my head looking at the contents of the bottle.

"It's just a little home sickness I guess. Missing 'that poor fool' and company." He laughs a little.

"Are you really gonna call him 'that poor fool' now?" I shrug and look at the broken mirror on the other side of the bar.

"I guess I could," I say still looking at the void glass. "Why are you always here, Aubrey?" He laughs again.

"Jessica scares me sometimes when she's mad." I nod. You could see that by looking at her, she was a mean mad. "Why you here now?"

"I don't have anywhere else to go." He looks at me.

"I don't believe that." I smirk.

"I wish I didn't have to." I couldn't go to my old home, and other than that I had no where. The only people I have are Christopher, Nikolas, and Nissa and they seemed just fine with out me. Aubrey shakes his head.

"Well if nothing else, you can always come here, right?" I nod with a smirk and look at him. He had his glass held up to his face and in the light his skin looked red.

"You know Aubrey," he looks at me, "You're not that bad of a guy." He shrugs.

"Two years ago and I would have fought you on that." He shrugs again. "But now, I know it's true. And it's all Jessica's fault." I smirk and stand up, taking the bottle with me of course.

"Thanks for the pep talk Aubrey," I say, "See ya later." He nods and I leave Las Noches.

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That talk with Aubrey had prompted me to paint Jessica. But not just her. Because Jessica, wasn't Jessica without Aubrey.

The back round was a dark violet. Jessica was painted with her whole body shown. There was a tight short black skirt on her hips and combat boots that climbed her calves. She had leather armsocks on her wrists and a tight emerald halter-top that griped her tightly. Aubrey was standing behind her and what you could see were the black jeans that covered his legs and the sleeves of a burgundy t-shirt he was painted into. His hands were locked in front of her and her hands were in his hair above her head. Her lips were lined with black and her eyes were closed showing a dark gray eyeshadow. Aubrey's head was on her shoulder, his lips turned into a smirk.

I was sitting on the table again when she came home. How she always seems to get around just when I finish something was baffling. She walks through every room on the lower level of the house before stomping up the stairs. She stops in the study door and looks at me. I had to smirk at her face.

"Have I mentioned I hate Bashes?" I smirk and nod once.

"Yes, I believe you have." She smirks and walks over next to me. As she turns around to the painting I smile at the look on her face. She falls into the chair next to me and gives one haughty laugh.

"My manna." I smirk.

"So you like it?" She looks at me a little shock in her eyes.

"Like it, no." I tilt my head. "I friggin' love it!" I laugh. "You are a friggin' god, Cera." I nod as she hugs me.

"Ok Jessica you can let go now." She nods and lets go and turns back to the picture in one motion. She walks over to it and looks at the small details again.

"How long did it take you?" I shrug and look at the clock on her desk.

"About five hours," I say simply and she nods. She leans closer to it and laughs.

"You got every flippin' detail, I swear." I smirk.

"Those damn tattoos," She laughs a little, "By the time I was done with them, I wanted to cut them off for him." She laughs a little harder.

"But you do realize, now I wanna keep this." I smirk and shake my head.

"How 'bout this. I'll keep this one and paint you a different one, of whatever you want." She smirks.

"Whatever I want?" I sigh once a little scared and nod solemnly. "Risika." I look at her like she was nuts.

"Why? Aubrey hates her." Jessica smiles and stands up. She walks to the door and nods.

"I know." I watch the door where she had been and slowly smile.

"Jessica, you little devil." I look back at the painting and smile. The ones of Nissa and the boys were in clear view on the floor in front of the bookcases. I smile at them and then look at the one of Jessica and Aubrey. I did have to hand it to myself, I was pretty good.


	5. Bash

Chapter Five 

It wasn't even ten when I felt the first vampire in the living room downstairs. Jessica felt it too and from where she sat at her desk behind me, growled. "That's Lira for ya." I simply shrugged the comment off and looked back at the painting I had been working on, and hoped I could use to get out of the bash.

I had been up most of the day. I had gone back to the old woman's shop and gotten a few more canvases. She asked relatively civil questions and I would answer them to the best I could without compromising her sanity. I had gotten five more easels and was now on my second painting since returning.

The first one had been a simple painting of Risika's face with her tiger stripped hair behind her. Her black eyes glowing on her pale face, and the slight smirk daring you to ask her what she wanted from you. Jessica had demanded that I make a copy and let her keep it. I laughed and told her to buy me a larger easel and I would paint her bigger. She liked that idea.

The painting I was working on no was just a simple figure. Painted on a white background. The girl had unusual black tipped hair that traveled down the length of her body. The white dress she was now wearing was hiked up around her knees with her hand pulling it away form her body like she was dancing. Her blue eyes a live but at the same time I had somehow, even in with the first coat only on, made them seem tragic. She was beautiful, dusty tan skin, light lips that were all smiles right now.

I push my hair behind my ears again and put both of my hands on my knees. I look at her again and sigh. Jessica looks at me and smirks. "You know, you're almost as much of a work-a-holic as I am now." I look at her and smirk.

"Except I actually take breaks." Jessica sighs and after looking at the easel for a minute stands up. She walks over and stands behind me. I look at her and then follow her eyes to the painting.

"Who is she?" I shrug.

"I don't know." She looks at me quizzically.

"Really?" I nod. She shakes her head. "The way you were so quite for that three hours there, I though you were paining you best friend. I shake my head.

"I don't really have any friends. Out side the undead." She nods.

"Know the feeling." She was looking at the painting again. I don't look up as a pair of boots stops at the door. I knew it was Aubrey and I knew that there were a growing number of people downstairs. Jessica looks at him though and shakes her head looking at the painting again. Aubrey sighs and walks into the room. He stands next to Jessica and looks where she was looking. He doesn't say anything for a second.

"You know, you're supposed to be down stair right now," his voice was bothered and slightly tired. He looks at me and then the painting. Jessica sighs and shakes her head.

"I don't wanna." I could tell that Aubrey was now glaring at her by the way Jessica took a step to her right. She drops her shoulder and walks toward the door. Aubrey follows her but stops before shutting the door.

"Nice job," he winks slightly and walks out of the room. He had seen the other paintings I had done, seeing as I just left them exposed leaning against the bookshelves.

I sigh again and pick up my brush to paint more but put it back on my knee. She was perfect as she was. And I didn't know my skills well enough yet to think that there was anything else I could do to make her more life like. I sit back on the stool and look at her some more. I put my brush down and moving the stool move to sit on the table like I always did.

I was getting better with every painting. This was the best so far. But it still wasn't far from my painting of Christopher and Nikolas. I close my eyes for a second and mentally search the downstairs. He was here. Changing his energy a little so he didn't stick out too much. All of them had only a small difference from him to her or to the guy across the room. But I could feel Nikolas through all of them. Nissa and Christopher wouldn't, or rather weren't here. There was only one thing wrong with his energy. It was heading for the stairs.

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It wasn't long. He knew exactly where I was and he knew I knew where he was. As the door opened, my eyes were closed and my picture of this white goddess was in my head, her thick white skirt twirling around her as she twirled in the middle of a large tree lined field.

He laughs a little. "Who would have thought it would have been this easy." I smirk and open my eyes slowly. He seemed slightly impressed with the power there.

"Obviously not you." He smirks wider. Still thankfully he hadn't noticed the paintings leaned against the bookshelves. He shakes his head slowly.

"Well, Sarah there you are correct." I wasn't going to tell him my new name. "I never thought we would find you. I figured a person of your mind would have the mind to go further away." I smirk.

"There as no need," I say standing from the table and walking over to the easel. I pick up the white maiden and after covering it with a sheet place it in the line with the others. Only then did he see them. The first Dominique's inner person. The picture of himself and his brother, back to back. The lone one of Nissa. The duet of Jessica and Aubrey. Risika's face in a world of her hair. And now the off place one of this maiden in white. "I have all I need here." I pick up a clean canvas and carry it to the easel. He looks down the line and then at me where I sat in front of it.

"You will never cease to amaze me, will you?" I look at him. As he asked the complex question, there was a softness in his voice that I had only ever heard him use on Christopher. I shake my head and look at the white expanse.

"I have never tried to amaze you, Nikolas," I look at him with a smirk now, "It just works out that way." He smirks back and walks over to the line. He looks at the one of the white maiden. He tilts his head and looks at it.

"Who is she?" I shake my head.

"I don't know," I say truthfully. He looks at me and smiles.

"Yes you do, because I know her." He looks at her again and smiles even softer. With him standing in relative proximity to the girl I knew her without a second look. She used to call herself Kristin. I smirk.

"I would have never placed her," I say with a chuckle. He nods.

"She went back," I look at him again, "With her family." I nod.

"I wish we all could. She has it pretty damn good," Nikolas laughs a little.

"I guess she does, doesn't she?" I look at him again and lightly bite my lip. He looks up at me and smirks softly. "You know you have a place there, with us, don't you?" I look at him, not really answering. After a few seconds I look back at the blank canvas.

"I don't know where I belong anymore." He cringes a little, mentally mind you, his face staying completely null.

"Well, then I guess I'll have to make you see, won't I?" I look at him and lift an eyebrow slightly.

"What?" He walks over to me and taking my hand stands me up and walks me out of the room. He pulls me slightly out the door and down the stairs. As we enter the tangle of living and dead people, blood-bonded and otherwise, I was once again, just as the few times I had been to a bash before, felt out of place.

"_You're aren't so different anymore,_" He says in my mind as if reading my thoughts. He leads me through the gaggle of feeding vampires and to where Jessica and Aubrey were sitting in the kitchen at the table, well Jessica was sitting on the table and Aubrey was next to her. Risika was in the doorway on the other side of the room and as Nikolas pushed me through, I was aware of the others that were watching me.

There were two girls on the other side of the door that were looking at me. I could see Nikolas' marks on their arms. Then another one walks up next to them and I could see the small K carved into her shoulder. I mentally smirk and walk into the room like nothing was out of the ordinary. Jessica smiles at me.

"Didn't think you would come out." I smirk and her and shrug walking over to the fridge and getting out Aubrey's iced bottle of vodka. He looks at me and shakes his head and I take a drink.

"I like it," I say in a childish voice and nod toward the bottle. I walk out of the door and in to the room Nikolas had pushed me from. He looks at the bottle and I hand it to him walking back in the room and over to Risika, Faster than she could stop me I steal the pack of cigarettes from her pocket and her lighter. I take a cancer stick and light it handing the two things back to her and taking a drag of the single lit cigarette. I walk back out of the room and take the bottle form Nikolas without batting an eyelash.

He laughs and follows me out the front door. He sits down next to me on the porch swing and smiles looking at me as I alternate between drinking and taking drags. He smiles and shakes his head. "Are you sure you still need to stay here?" I look at him and shrug.

"Where would I _need_ to go?" I take another drag. "I have all I need here." He nods.

"But, trust me on this, there are things there than _need_ you." I look at him and take a drink, quickly after taking a prolonged drag.

"How is the slugger?" He smiles and nods.

"He's been worse, but, at the same time, he's been better. At least he feeds normally again." I smirk.

"Saw that," I say nodding toward the house. He looks at me and smirks.

"You're still amazing me Sarah."

"Cera," I say, "I changed my name. I'm not a Vida anymore. And I'm not the same Sarah." He nods.

"That's quite apparent." He was now looking at the cigarette and vodka. "You aren't the same Sarah Vida. So Cera, what would you do? Will you stay here and keep getting whacked out or will you come back soon?" I smile.

"I'll be back. I only need a little more time." Nikolas seemed to be thinking it over and smiles after looking at the moon and stars.

"Yes, it would seem you do." It was a while that we sat there in the comfortable silence. Both of us looking at the moon high in the sky. The only sound was the night and the gentle exhale I made while letting the smoke out and the even gentler sloshing of the vodka as I drank it, and every now and then, Nikolas.

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It was a few more days on that before I was willing and able to risk walking in the sun. I would walk to the park about four in the afternoon and sit under one of the dense trees. I would watch and sketch the teens as they skated and walked round. The elderly, as they played chess on the south side. The businessmen as they took their late lunch with their cell phones and laptops on the north side not to far from the firms and cubicles.

There were several people in the area that I took an interest in after only a short time. One was a boy who looked like he was in his later-teens but that still hung around the thirteen and fourteen-year-olds. He had bushy brown hair that as he wore the black helmet clung to his cheeks and ears. There were pads on his elbows and knees though he managed to make them look fitting. The low black vans were untied and hung off his keels as he walked. He was of average height and lanky. I had to have drawn his face five times. He wasn't anything special, just an interesting person to look at.

The other was a woman who was lying on a bench on between the skate-park and the south end. She was wearing tighter pink pants with a hunter shirt. Her brown hair, she held in her head above her head. Her eyes were squinted as she read the white pages in the harsh dying sun. There were older Reeboks on her feet, the tops of her socks just visible over the tops. Her hunter shirt matched the bench she sat on so well, at the distance I was at, I couldn't tell the difference. But when she sat and leaned over her book, you were in clear sight of her cleavage over the end of her shirt. Again there was nothing special about her, I just found her interesting.

By the time Jessica came to get me to hunt, the sun was gone and the park, all but deserted. I liked listening to the life here. But I still was more than ready to go.

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Like cold glass on my back the rain cut through my shirt. I looked down on the blackened ground, asphalt. The water making it look, reflectable in the security light from the side entrance to the bar. The thin black shirt and the black jean pants, my pale skin was a strong contrast to it. Then there was the little noticeable fact that my usually perky blond hair was sticking to my head my eyes closed. And if you were close enough, you might have been able to smell the tint on blood on my breath. In the rain though, you could see the crimson tears as they traveled down my cheeks.

Maybe, even after all of this, I'm just not cut out to be a vampire. I made to fit the mold of a witch and the two molds are to different, the transition would kill even the strongest witch. And I wasn't even one of the strongest.


End file.
